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Jaws Needed an Escort
When you're indestructible, it's not as easy to find girls as you might think. Sure, you can have a pyramid fall on you, get thrown out of a train at high speed, ride in a car that drives off a cliff, go head to head with a shark, or fall thousands of feet without the benefit of a parachute -- and even go over a waterfall -- without suffering any permanent damage, but those aren't the only attributes that girls are looking for.
Sure, girls like guys who are strong, but you also have to have a soft and sensitive side. When you're a killing machine that is unstoppable and ruthless, you're not going to exude the qualities that girls are looking for. Add a mouth full of metal teeth (and a bite that kills), and you're going to have even more problems. After all, if you're talking to a pretty girl over cocktails and you accidentally break that martini glass, things are just going to keep getting more and more awkward.
You might point out that Jaws does find a girlfriend. In Moonraker, Dolly falls for him, and she ends up bringing that nicer side of him out. As the movie comes to an end, the two of them are sharing a bottle of champagne aboard the disintegrating space station that had belonged to the evil Drax. She even inspires him to talk for the very first time, giving the toast ‘Well, here's to us’.
But, would Jaws have been such a killing machine if he had had fun feminine companionship earlier in life? Having a mouth full of metal means that even eating is unpleasant and often painful. Simply rolling over in the middle of the night can hurt and cause the utmost angst, ask any teenager with braces.
And, when it's time to heat up that microwave dinner, having that much metal near the oven could lead to problems as well. Come to think of it, Jaws was lucky to live in the pre-9/11 era, when it was a lot easier to get onto an airplane. Now, the intense screening procedures would make him a pariah any time he even thought about getting near a jet bridge.
All of these problems would be much easier if Jaws had a little feminine companionship at his disposal. It's not always easy to find a girl, even for the most attractive and debonair guy, but someone who has the awkwardness and physical shortcomings of Jaws needs the ease of being able to place a quick call and have a fun evening, just shelling out a couple of quid to get himself into a better frame of mind. While Jaws does end up reasonably happy, he might never have turned to a life of crime in the first place had he have had the Bond Girls number to hand. Instead, he might have been happier and joined the fire brigade and offered up his services as a human version of their cutting equipment. Who knows?